How Do I Make Friends in Graduate School?

With a little effort, you can find the colleagues, mentors and friends you need.

If you have a college degree, you probably have a lot of fond memories about campus life: the late-night talks, impromptu pizza parties, organized fun planned by resident assistants.  While you’re probably looking forward to the chance to deep-dive into your favorite discipline in graduate school, you might also worry you’ll miss all the little extras that made your undergraduate years such an unforgettable time.

Here’s the good news: With a little planning you can get the best of both worlds, fostering a close-knit community paired with the freedom to work at your own pace on your passion. We asked Rob Gilmore, director of graduate life at Sacred Heart University, for some pointers.

Smaller classes foster community in graduate school.

In a graduate program, you’re likely to be part of a much smaller cohort than you remember from auditorium-filling survey and introduction courses you took in college. There’s no such thing as a 100+-person lecture, and every class is more likely to be taught by a full professor rather than a teaching assistant.

Seminar courses and smaller research labs are a great time to get to know your fellow classmates. You won’t have a residence hall assistant to order the pizza, but you’ll have something ready-made to talk about over a slice—your excitement for the subject.

Shared goals and interests build community in graduate school.

Graduate school is a serious commitment. You’ll invest time, money and energy attaining this goal because it’s important to you and your career. Guess what? You’ll be surrounded by people who are as committed to academic success as you are, allowing for a built-in camaraderie and an opportunity for more in-depth, meaningful conversation and collaboration than you may have enjoyed as an undergraduate. Through research and graduate assistantships, you’ll find a like-minded group who can bounce around ideas while remaining mindful of your other commitments.

Important to remember: Students in graduate school come from diverse backgrounds and age groups. Some are just out of college, some are mid-career employees looking to advance and others are retired lifelong learners. If you’re in the first group, remember responsibilities are different now, and you will be encouraged to think and act more professionally.

A need for organization and motivation can build community in graduate school.

No matter what the program, graduate school requires organization and discipline. Professors are less likely to give you weekly quizzes or short assignments to make sure you’re on track. You and your classmates will spend more time focused on working individually or collaboratively on research, projects and papers. At this level, strong time management skills will be essential to stay on track when there isn't a syllabus and due dates driving your workload.

Such work requires motivation. But you don’t have to go it alone. Volunteer to reserve a group study room at the library to polish a presentation, or schedule a coffee break with 2-3 friends to discuss your independent study and share ways you’ve solved research challenges. Knowing someone else is going through the same stresses and finding solutions can go a long way to keeping you on track.

Campuses offer clubs and activities specifically for grad students.

Missing the structured socialization of your undergrad years? Many campuses have dedicated resources to help graduate students find social connection and adjust to the campus community. Office of Graduate Student Affairs at SHU advises the Graduate Student Leadership Board (formerly the Graduate Student Advisory Committee), which fosters support and interaction among grad students, faculty, the University and the community at large through intellectual and social events. The office also plans exercise classes, cultural groups, résumé and networking events and offers a hub for graduate students to grab a coffee and relax between classes.

Make sure to take advantage of educational and career opportunities, including academic success resources and professional development.

And don’t limit yourself to graduate student-only events, Gilmore said. At SHU, all students are Pioneers are encouraged to root for the home teams, attend performing arts events and visit the SHU Community Theatre in downtown Fairfield.

Your graduate school classmates become a valuable career network.

Unlike undergrads, your grad school peers won't be as demographically similar to you. Instead of a cohort of similarly aged individuals living away from home for the first time, your peers in grad school will come from a variety of backgrounds and will have many different experiences to share. Not only will these varied experiences add unique dimensions to the overall classroom environment, but they'll also provide you with great opportunities for personal and professional networking. This networking can more easily allow you to exchange ideas, increase your profile, gain trusted support and even open up future employment possibilities.

And don’t forget your campus career center. At SHU, graduate students can take part in all offerings at the Center for Career & Professional Development, including Handshake, SHU’s exclusive online job search management website, career panel discussions, document review and salary negotiation advice.

“Whether you are going into occupational therapy, accounting or communications, you need to network with those inside and outside of the University,” Gilmore said. “The Center for Career & Professional Development is always available to assist in helping you network.”

Want to know more about graduate programs at Sacred Heart University?

Visit Graduate Admissions to contact a member of the graduate admissions team and explore our graduate programs.