Former MLB Reliever John Trautwein Pitches Approach to Depression
Communication, positivity, acceptance and understanding among his recommendations
Former Red Sox relief pitcher John Trautwein excitedly paced, gestured and even went face-to-face with audience members as he shared a very personal story at Sacred Heart University’s Edgerton Center Dec. 4 in a presentation, “Life Teammates: Leveraging the Positive Power of Peer Networks.”
With a full house that included clinicians, counselors, student-athletes and area residents, Trautwein shared the tragedy of losing his 15-year-old son, Will, to suicide in 2010 and his journey to found the Will to Live Foundation. His mission is to raise awareness about teen suicide and encourage young people to serve as each other’s life teammates.
The talk capped a day that had Trautwein visiting students at Fairfield Warde High School and participating in two colloquia at SHU. Title IX Coordinator Leonora Campbell welcomed the gathering, and Executive Director of Athletics Bobby Valentine introduced the guest speaker. Trautwein signed copies of his “My Living Will” book after the presentation.
“My goal is to motivate you; to make you look in the mirror differently and inspire hope in life and relationships…to have you take my message and have fun carrying it out,” Trautwein began. He spoke of his late son, then a freshman in high school, sharing, “He was big, strong, healthy, popular, a good athlete, musician, known as the leader and consultant of his friends…and he had an army of them.”
Will’s suicide was a shock. “When we lost him, we were devastated, stunned. He had studied really hard for a test he never took. He took his life the day before he was to take his driver’s test. His braces were to come off the next week. His band was playing in two weeks…I was convinced someone had murdered him, that’s how clueless I was.”
Trautwein came to understand that his son suffered from depression. “I started to talk to mental health experts and organizations and learned that depression is a physical illness. It’s very maskable, and it’s everywhere. One in six of us suffer from it. One in 10 college kids actually has a plan on how they are going to commit suicide,” he said.
He said he had wondered why Will didn’t talk to him about his depression. “Will was not OK, but he thought that was a bad thing and so didn’t talk about it. While I was eulogizing him, I was beginning to figure out how I was going to get people to talk about this.”
Trautwein figured that people have an easier time talking to others facing the same obstacles, which gave birth to his Life Teammates concept and the basis for his foundation, to improve the “will to live.” He said he now has a better understanding of high school and college students, noting today’s young people have a harder time than their parents, teachers, counselors and coaches did when they were the same age. He cited the 24/7 lifestyle, social media, instant everything and societal demands as intimidators.
“The job-hunting cycle is harder than it’s been in the history of man. You can navigate this crazy world, but do it together. You’ll never stop needing to be an excellent teammate if you want to succeed,” Trautwein suggested.
To parents, he advised, “Understand the pressures, know that it’s hard. There’s more competition than ever before. Create a culture that allows your kids to reach out and say they’re not OK.”
To students, he offered, “Listen to your friend. Don’t ignore threats. Let your friend know you care. Tell a trusted adult that you are worried about your friend. Sometimes it takes a friend to see the best in you, to help you see the positive.”
Trautwein also urged, “Learn from your mistakes; learn from your successes, too. Find your positive passion. Don’t leave your best stuff in the bullpen.”
He encouraged friends to tell each other, “I love you, man,” and to remember that love heals. “Depression is common and can be treatable—sometimes even curable—but only if you talk about it.”