SHU Celebrates National Coming Out Day
“I want to maximize my good.” —Ben Greene
Sacred Heart University held its Second Annual Coming Out Day Celebration on Oct. 13 in Pioneer Village on the Fairfield campus.
The celebration included talks by Robert Johnson, director of SHU’s Multicultural Center; John J. Petillo, president of Sacred Heart University; Julie Lawrence, SHU’s chief officer of diversity, equity and inclusion and Reverend Sara Smith, SHU interfaith chaplain and senior minister at United Congregational Church in Bridgeport leading up to featured guest speaker Ben Greene, transgender educator and activist.
“Coming out is important,” said Johnson. “When people know someone close to them who is LGBTQ, they are more likely to support equality under the law and an inclusive environment.”
“Today, we say no to silence—silence of ignorance, silence of self-righteousness and silence of bullying,” said Petillo. “Whether it be race, creed or orientation, let it be known that this University strives for inclusivity. When we fail in any of these, it is because we are silent. I’ve come to understand that silence can be heard. It screams with injustice, bullying and exclusion,” he said. “Today we stand with our brothers and sisters who are members of the LGBTQ community.
“For my part, those who write or complain that our University is less Christian because of our respect for inclusiveness, I suggest strongly that you take your ignorance and hatred elsewhere,” Petillo continued to a round of applause from the crowd.
Lawrence gave Gallup Poll data that included U.S. Catholic support for gay marriage has consistently exceeded the national average by five or more percentage points since the beginning of the 2000s.
“I love God,” began Smith. “And I seek to follow our Christ. I’ve served God’s people as a minister of the gospel of love and grace for almost 30 years. But I’m also an out, proud lesbian, and I am a child of God. When I came out 33 years ago, I did not have my family or my friends or my church. But I had God.”
When she came out during her senior year of seminary school, she was almost kept from being ordained. “But good straight people stepped in and made sure I was protected, and God and I have been walking together ever since.” She encouraged everyone to tell their truth. “It is the most liberating thing you can do, not just for you but for the world.”
Greene, who works as an advocate and LGBTQ+ inclusivity consultant, shared his story with the more than 150 people at the event. When he was deciding whether to come out, he had no example. In looking at how the world reacted to transgender people, “What the world was saying was that it’s illegal for me to go to the bathroom in some states and countries because I’m too dangerous. It’s illegal for me to play sports because I’m a dishonest cheater. It’s illegal for me to join the military for at least four years because I’m too burdensome and too expensive. And in the most recent slew of anti-transgender attacks, there were over 175 anti-transgender bills pending, proposed and in many cases passed across the United States this legislative session,” he said.
It would seem that the world’s message to Greene was not to transition. So, he looked closer to home. “Nobody in my life were the people writing those bills or saying I couldn’t use the bathroom. Nobody was saying anything against me.” He wanted to come out to his family and friends, but “the only example of coming out stories were on the TV shows I was watching.” They all had the same story—come out, get kicked out of your house, wind up a homeless drug addict and die a tragic death.
He stayed in the closet for about a year. A car accident was his signal that it was time.
“I was maxed out on fear, so I just decided to do it,” Greene said. He came out as the first transgender student at his high school in Connecticut at the age of 15 via Facebook post. “I did it, and it was beautiful. When I came out, the love I received—there was nothing like it.”
Greene’s final message was “I want to find a way to make everyone here today know that they are loved, whether you are in the closet or out of the closet.” He led the audience in chanting “you are loved” for everyone who could hear.
“Students, athletes, faculty, staff, even SHU’s president showed up for the community today,” said Greene of the event. “Seeing that was really beautiful.”
“I’m a member of the LGBTQ+ community, so it meant a lot to me to see that Sacred Heart is working to try to create a more inclusive and diverse environment,” said Allyson Lombardo ’25, who attended.
Kate, another student who identifies as an ally, attended the event not only to support her friends, but also because one of her family members is a transgender male, and she has been deeply hurt by her family’s response. She came to learn how to best support her family member in his new life.
To contact Greene or learn more about his mission, visit his website.
Header image: Student Gabriella Leiba hands out rainbow flags to the crowd on behalf of the Office of Mission Integration, Ministry & Multicultural Affairs. Inset: Reverend Sara Smith embraces speaker Ben Greene before his talk.