Ask a few college freshmen what they want to do with their life and they'll probably say they want to find a good job so they can support themselves, maybe get married and have kids, lead a life reminiscent of the “American dream.”  Both male and female students respond in a similar way. As high school students, we're told that if we can dream it, we can do it. But as young women, we're never told that this isn't always the case.

            I'm tired of being told that I can do anything I set my mind to.  I've heard too many stories of women either giving up their career to have a family or vice versa to believe it's true anymore.

            For a long time I thought that I could have it all. I would go to graduate school, find a spectacular teaching position, land a husband who is everything I ever dreamed of, and have a few kids before I hit 35.

             Now I realize this may not be the case. What if I don't get into graduate school? I guess I'll get my teaching certification. That would be ok. But what if I don't find a husband? I suppose I could just keep dating. There's nothing wrong with getting married later in life. I would be able to put my career first. But what if I get married and have children? Will I have to give up teaching to raise my children, or will I be able to successfully juggle my responsibilities at work and at home? I don't want to become a mother who has children and then leaves them to be raised by a nanny. But I also don't want to give up my career.

            I'm tired of having to think about all of these scenarios when I know that men they haven't even crossed men's minds.

            When I first started thinking about all of these unanswerable questions, I panicked. No one told me that I might have to make choices that mean completely abandoning one dream so I can pursue another. I never even considered the fact that my plans won't go exactly as I imagined.

            I'm tired of hearing that I can have it all. Telling young girls that they can be whatever they want to be is false advertising. There needs to be a disclaimer that states: “Certain restrictions may apply. Those who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant might as well stay home.”

            Society has always told women what they can and can't do. We are told we can either live for ourselves or our families. There is no in between. Women fall under two classifications, and I don't find either one particularly appealing.

            The Soccer Mom: May be prone to fits of extreme hysteria while cheering on little Jimmy. Should not operate heavy machinery other than a mini-van. Common side effects include lack of sleep, headaches, and chest pains all due to the extreme amount of energy spent on driving the kids to and from their numerous activities while making sure they are given enough time to do their homework and enjoy a home cooked family dinner each night.

            Not for you? Crave a little more self-satisfaction? There's only one other option.

            The Career Woman: Devotes her life to her job, because what else could she devote it to? Can be seen taking on extra work in hopes of ascending to the top of the corporate ladder. Extremely dangerous when wet. Do not submerge in martinis at the company Christmas party unless the submerger wishes to hear The Career Woman go into great detail about her sexual escapades in hopes of proving she is not completely sexually frustrated.

            I'm tired of society dictating that women must be homemakers or professional women and can't possibly do both.

            As a society, we have made great strides toward gaining equality for men and women. But when it comes to the obstacles in men's and women's lives, women have many more things standing in the way of achieving their personal goals. Every decision is dependent on many factors. Should I put my family or myself first? Do I want to have a successful career or be president of the PTA?

            The fact that women have to make these kinds of sacrifices is disheartening. It shows that as far as we have come, we still have much further to go. And I think that it is time to start making it known. It can be very hard for a woman to accept the fact that there will come a time in her life when she must choose between her career and her family. I'm still planning on attending graduate school, finding a fabulous husband, pursuing a successful career, and having lots of babies. But I know that these plans may change. And while I'm fully aware that my plans will change, that does not mean that I am okay with it. I'm tired of the fact that life will get in my way but won't get in my husband's. I'm tired of making plans while knowing full well that they will change once I get married or have children.

I'm just tired.

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