For Parents - Do’s and Don’ts

A Helpful Guide for Parents Adjusting to Their Student's Transition to College Life

  • Do write, email, IM but don't expect them to write back.
  • Do ask questions but don't ask too many.
  • Do expect them to change but don't be upset when they do.
  • Do expect phone calls concerning homesickness and depression but don't worry too much about these calls unless they persist.
  • Do visit (but not too often) but don't visit unexpectedly.
  • Do be supportive and encouraging of their lives but don't tell them these are the best years.
  • Do trust their ability to make good choices but don't question everything they decide on.
  • Do treat them special when they come home but don't spoil them.
  • Do be excited about them coming home but don't expect them to spend all their time with the family.
  • Do be interested in their new life as a student but don't interfere or pry.
  • Do listen with concern to their problems but don't take responsibility for those problems or make decisions for them.
  • Do expect them to try out new values but don't worry; the values taught at home usually prevail.
  • Do realize that academic demands may differ from high school.  At first, grades may drop a little but don't be overly concerned with academic pitfalls at first.  Encourage getting help from academic resources.
  • Do expect them to complain about the food but don't be alarmed.  There are always enough choices for them to find something to eat.
  • Do keep them informed on happenings in their hometown, former high school, etc. but don't forget they are still very interested in what happens at home.
  • Do encourage them to seek help but don't seek it for them.

If you need further consultation, please feel free to contact the Counseling Center at 203-371-7955.  The counselor staff welcomes your questions and is always ready to assist your student.